Eshet Chayil Reclaimed

OK, everyone, please close your eyes. Now, please listen and imagine that I'm describing a woman to you. See if you can guess who she is. She a wife and mother, someone who also works outside the home as a merchant, and also as a restauranteur; She is a teacher and a mentor, dispensing wise advice; she is a success in real estate, manages to stay fit by working out, makes her own clothes, runs a complex enterprise, and keeps all the participants happy and productive. This woman is 'on' 24/7, burning the midnight oil, and deserves a bonus for all her hard, productive work.

Ok, you can open your eyes. Now tell the truth. Doesn't a name, a face, come to mind? I'm describing someone you know, am I not? Maybe the description fits you, yourself, maybe your daughter, or your best friend, but certainly a liberated woman of the Twenty-First Century.

Because of the title of this lecture, you are probably not surprised to learn that everything I just mentioned as characteristic of this modern Super Woman is taken from the Eshet Chayil poem that closes the Book of Proverbs.

It is traditionally sung to the woman of the household by her husband on Friday evening. Many women have objected to this text for a variety of reasons, which we'll explore in a minute. Others choose to sing it or have it sung to them.¹

The Jewish scholar and ethicist Elliot Dorff sees strong parallels between today's active women and the woman described in the Bible as "Eshet Chayil." He writes, "To do it all, such a wife rises before sunrise and works into the night—a workaholic 'supermom' beyond belief. Its portrait of women who raise a family but also establish careers had become everyday reality for many modern women.... Still, the poem is problematic in that it does not praise single women, women without children, or women who do not work outside the home. Is it, therefore, a good model for us?"² Elliot Dorff asks a good question, and we'll come back to it. But first, the basics.

In form, Eshet Chayil is an alphabetic acrostic, each of its 22 verses beginning with the next letter of the Hebrew alphabet in sequence. Because of the restrictions this form imposes, the flow of thought, and the expression of ideas, expressed in this poem are secondary to the requirements of the acrostic structure.

The Eshet Chayil poem throws light on the domestic activities of its day, and also illuminates the degree of managerial responsibility assumed by the wife of a well-to-do man in ancient Israel.³

Some scholars believe that the poem is a conscious attempt to offer a positive attitude toward women, since negative views of women are typical of the Book of Proverbs.⁴ Other scholars see subversive, even negative images of women in this poem.⁵ The plain meaning of the text expresses a husband's effusive recognition of his wife's hard work for her family,⁶ but scholars have also suggested that the poem does not describe a flesh-and-blood woman, but is a personification perhaps of Chokhmah, "Dame Wisdom," who appears earlier in the Book of Proverbs, or perhaps of the Torah or of the Shabbat bride.⁷

In my keynote address this morning, I would like to review the role and history of the Eshet Chayil poem in its various settings in ancient Israel, in rabbinic thought, and in its liturgical use in home rituals. As part of this process, we'll look at the role of an ideal woman in the ancient Near East, and also at some of the modern objections raised against these images today by feminists and others. By the end of my talk, you will each have a better idea of the complexities surrounding this piece, and be better able to decide whether you, personally, believe that it is possible to reclaim this ancient poem for yourselves and for your families.

[If poem is to be read aloud, do so here:]

Let's begin by reading the Eshet Chayil poem together now, using the JPS translation and alternating Hebrew and English verses. Please read along with me.

[read Eshet Chayil, alternating JPS Hebrew and English]

OK, now let's look at this poem more deeply, starting from the beginning. We'll only have time to look at some of the highlights.

In the first verse of the poem, Proverbs 31:10, the expression "Eshet Chayil" is a biblical idiom, and so is hard to translate literally into English. The traditional translation, "a woman of valor," captures the military sense of the word 'chayil' as 'valiant,' but the term 'powerful' would also fit the military connotations. The noun "chayil" also suggests the wealth, prosperity, property or power of the upper classes in biblical times.⁹ "Eshet Chayil" is familiarly rendered as "a virtuous woman," but that translation makes a value judgment and wanders far from the Hebrew expression in tone and vigor. In contemporary literature, the phrase is often translated as "a strong woman" or "a competent woman."

The phrase that follows, "Mi Yimtzah," is usually translated as 'who can find.' The phrase implies that such a woman as Eshet Chayil is very rare. However, this expression can also be read with the implication that no one has EVER found such a woman, and will NEVER find such a woman. It is this connotation of the phrase Mi Yimtzah that has led scholars to suggest, as I noted earlier, that the Eshet Chayil of the poem is not a woman of flesh and blood at all.⁸

Rather, some suggest that she is, perhaps, the personification of Shabbat, or even of the feminine aspect of the Divine.¹⁰ She may also be the personification of the abstract Dame Wisdom of Proverbs 3 verses 13 through 18, whose worth, like that of our Woman of Valor, is also compared to pninim, or "rubies."¹¹ These readings would, of course, reinforce the negative image of women that prevails in the book of Proverbs—the idea that no actual, living woman could ever live up to such an unattainable ideal. I believe, however, that the mundane quality and hands-on nature of the details of the many tasks performed by Eshet Chayil mitigate against this abstract reading.

Her businesslike efficiency is far more practical than the generic graces ascribed to Dame Wisdom of Proverbs 3. And certainly the many labors of her hands run counter to the rest and serenity expected of the Sabbath Queen.

The husband of our Eshet Chayil appears in the second verse of the poem, in 31:11, in the phrase batach bah lev ba'alah, which asserts that her husband's mind is secure or confident in her. [Those of you who have studied with me may remember that in the Bible, lev, the heart, rather than the head, is the seat of the mind.] The Eshet Chayil has her husband's complete trust.

His reappearance twice more, once near the poem's center at verse 23, and again at its conclusion in verse 28, demonstrates structurally what the poem describes in words: that much of the labor of the Eshet Chayil is on behalf of her husband and their family, also implying that her actions contribute to, and also reflect, her husband's prestige among the elders of the land. This centrality of the Eshet Chayil's family relationships to the work she does reflects the cultural reality of its own time, and, perhaps, of our own.

In the Hebrew, throughout the poem, there are eight references to her hands, palm, or arm, (not all of which are translated literally in the English).

Such Hebrew words as kapeyha (literally, "her palms," four times in some form), yadeyha ("her hands," three times) and zero'oteyha ("her arms," once) reinforce our awareness of her hands-on management style.¹² As scholars have noted, she only uses her hands for good works, to support her family and to support the poor. These are major themes in the international Wisdom tradition of which proverbs are an important element both in the Bible and in the ancient Near East.¹³

In addition, for us, the unusual word used just once for her arms, zero'oteyha, carries with it connotations of divine saving might, echoing as it does God's "outstretched arm," zero'a netuyah, from the Passover Haggadah.¹⁴ The Eshet Chayil, like Joseph in Jacob's blessing of him in Genesis 49:24, has her arms, and, by extension, her deeds, strengthened by God.

It is interesting to note the total lack of sexuality associated with the Eshet Chayil. The emphasis is on her practical competence rather than her sensuality. Even her mouth, usually sensuous in connotation, is opened by the Eshet Chayil with wisdom and teaching, not seduction. This is in marked contrast to the smooth talking foreign woman in Proverbs 7:5, whose delicate lips and seductive speech are a threat to young Israelite men whose heads are easily turned by her blandishments.¹⁵

It is my thought, confirmed by talks with my teacher and friend Dr. Tikva Frymer-Kensky of the University of Chicago, that in many ways this sexually dangerous foreign woman of Proverbs 7 has much in common with that pivotal nubile goddess of the ancient Near East, Inanna, also known as Ishtar, whose description in Sumerian and Akkadian literature is in many ways the antithesis of the Eshet Chayil.¹⁶

Again, some of you may be familiar with Inanna, the unmarried goddess of fertility who refuses to be bound by convention. In Sumerian and Akkadian tradition, she is initially the power of the date storehouse, who is ultimately tied to all storehouses, including those for wool, meat and grain. She is eventually associated with all aspects of abundance.¹⁷ She is a goddess of infinite variety. Inanna is celebrated as a goddess of war—battles, in Sumerian, are referred to as "Inanna's Dance," and she exhorts stragglers to finish off the enemy.¹⁸ She boasts that she is also goddess of thunderstorms, flood, and hurricane,¹⁹ which are often used metaphorically in Sumerian literature to describe invading armies.²⁰

Unlike the modest Eshet Chayil who allows the work of her hands to speak for her [31:31], Inanna is her own best press agent, boasting, "the gods are sparrows, I am a falcon!"²¹

Inanna is also associated with the annual rite of sacred marriage, a sexual ritual between the goddess and the reigning king to insure fertility of the land. Her wantonness and freedom with her favors mirror the rutting of fertile livestock.²² As we meet the Eshet Chayil in the book of Proverbs, however, she is already a matron with many children, and all her sexuality is chastely hidden.

Copious offerings of food and drink are brought to Inanna, either of their own free will or because Inanna has solicited the gifts,²³ in contrast to the Eshet Chayil who herself brings offerings of food, clothing, and wealth to her husband and children. In fact, Inanna spurns any household chores. In a poem describing an effort by Inanna's brother to betroth her to the shepherd, Dumuzi, Inanna refuses to undertake all the tasks a betrothed maiden must do to prepare for her wedding.

Inanna asks her brother, in a long repetitive refrain, who will hoe the flax, who will beat it for her, who will spin it, who will weave it, and who will bleach and prepare the bridal sheets? Her brother replies that he will do it all for her, she will not have to lift a finger. Finally, though, Inanna is delighted to be the one to actually lie down on the bridal sheets with Dumuzi, her betrothed.²⁴ At her wedding to Dumuzi, the groom promises Inanna, "I have not carried you off to be my slave girl..."

Although she will eat at a splendid table, He tells her,
"My wife, cloth you shall not weave for me!
Young lady, threads you shall not spin for me,
My wife, goat's wool you shall not card for me!
Inanna, warp you shall not mount for me..."²⁵

Most relevant to our discussion of Eshet Chayil, Inanna is also goddess of the morning and evening stars. As evening star, Inanna marks the end of the day's work for men and animals.²⁶ As we have already seen, however, the lamp of the Eshet Chayil, never goes out at night [31:18]. The Evening Star, in Sumerian literature, is also associated with harlots—one scholar suggests that "perhaps because it was a common sight to see the harlot appear with the evening star there was a bond between them."²⁷

Inanna, as goddess of the evening star, is protectress of the harlot as well as of the alehouse out of which she works. In some literature, the evening star is herself a harlot soliciting in the skies, making Inanna's earthly sisters incarnations of the goddess, and their pickups are like her bridegroom.²⁸ Some of us will recognize this combination of divinity of love, war, and the evening star in Western mythology, where this cluster of attributes is ascribed to the goddess Venus. The Eshet Chayil, in contrast, never approaches an alehouse and never associates with women of the evening.

The Eshet Chayil's serene and competent demeanor is a sharp contrast to Inanna's histrionics. As one ancient poet wrote:
"To pester, insult, deride, desecrate and to venerate is your domain, Inanna;
Downheartedness, calamity, heartache, and joy and good cheer is your domain, Inanna.
Trembling, affright, terror, dazzling and glory is your domain, Inanna."²⁹

Inanna is impetuous, throwing things against the gates of the underworld when they do not open to her immediately. She destroys those she loves, or at least they come to grief—she forces her spouse, the shepherd Dumuzi, to take her place in the underworld when she finds herself trapped there.³⁰

In short, Inanna embodies all roles except those which call for maturity and a sense of responsibility. As scholars have noted, "She is never depicted as a wife and helpmate or as a mother."³¹ In the Hebrew Bible, and especially in Israelite proverbs, the woman with seductive characteristics is non-Israelite. She is the one who neglects her family, betrays her marital vows, and seduces the unwary. The proper Israelite woman, on the other hand, watches over her family, provides for their needs, is very married, and is unswervingly loyal. The ideal Israelite woman is not primarily a sexual creature.

Contemporary scholars point out that in emphasizing marriage and family, the Eshet Chayil poem very much articulates a Jewish ideal, not only for women, but also for men.³² Giving to the poor, viewing the future optimistically, earning high regard from spouse and children, these are the virtues that can be praised today as they were in biblical times—emphasizing substantive contributions to human welfare rather than a superficial preoccupation with appearance or fashionability.

The issue for some critics today is that these virtues apply equally to men as well as women, to husbands as well as to wives. Marcia Falk, for example, objects to the poem's "patronizing" tone, and its lack of any "modern notions of gender equality,"³³ in discussing its suitability for use at the Friday night table. Marcia Falk rejects the Eshet Chayil entirely, suggesting instead a blessing of the beloved inspired by the biblical Song of Songs.³⁴

Ellen Frankel suggests that the poem 'deceives' a woman into thinking she has equal religious status with her husband, "when in fact she is barred from the more important roles in worship and observance."³⁵ Many who object to the reading of the Eshet Chayil on Friday evening raise this question of the limited role of women in Orthodox practice, and challenge the family-centered activity of the Woman of Valor.

They argue that the sphere of activity described of the biblical Eshet Chayil is wholly apart from the religious sphere of text study and public worship. Feminists argue that these circumstances render the Eshet Chayil poem unfit for contemporary liturgical use.

It is worth taking a step back, here, to review the biblical context of the Eshet Chayil. In many ways, the poem can be viewed as a sacred expression of economic necessity. As my teacher and friend Tikva Frymer-Kensky has pointed out,³⁶ the earliest biblical period was a time of agricultural revolution. Labor-intensive activity was required to produce the essential tools and materials to sustain life.

It was extremely necessary to have a full-time child-rearer when eight pregnancies were required to produce two live children. In the ancient Near East, there were nineteen names for miscarriages, and half of all women died in childbirth.

In America today, we do not have the same necessity. Infant mortality is not as prevalent, and the house is not the center of production. Today, we can purchase whatever we need rather than producing it ourselves with our own hands. Today's woman can express her desires and act upon her own initiative. And today, in most Jewish denominations, women can participate in text study and in public synagogue worship.

Frymer-Kensky argues that it is important not to forget the past, but instead to honor our antecedents, the women who contributed to building and maintaining the household. When we are reciting the litany of roles taken on by the Woman of Valor, we do not imply that we believe that this is all a woman is capable of doing, or all that she actually does. To honor our past, it is not necessary to perpetuate it.

Eshet Chayil is important because it celebrates women's contribution to the economic welfare of the community, and, more specifically, it recognizes women's work around preparation for Shabbat. Even in this day of two-income families and high-powered careers for both genders, in most American households, it is still the woman who manages the household. When Eshet Chayil is recited, we take this opportunity to celebrate the role of women at the feasting table, to thank them for this work that honors their families and that makes it possible for everyone to take pleasure in Shabbat.

David Ellenson notes that "another way of dealing with...egalitarian gender roles is to balance a husband's praise of his wife with a wife's blessing for her husband."³⁷ The American Reform movement and the Conservative Movement's Sim Shalom siddur both select excerpts from Psalm 112 in praise of the male spouse in addition to all or part of the Eshet Chayil, to be read as part of the Friday night liturgy at home.

However, the idea that the Eshet Chayil poem represents an imbalance in gender equality may be less clear-cut than it appears at first glance. Those of you who have studied with me will recall the concept of "intertextuality," the idea that language and imagery echo from one biblical text to another, enriching interpretation and enlarging our understanding. Intertextuality can inform our reading of the Eshet Chayil text in our own cultural context. At least one scholar has suggested that the Eshet Chayil poem is the culmination of ideas beginning with the Psalm 112 that many already include in their Friday night ritual, and also suggests the relevance of taking into account the structure, language, and message of Psalm 111 as well as Psalm 112.

This scholar, Rabbi Dr. David Greenstein, is Rosh Yeshiva of the Academy for Jewish Religion in Riverdale [and, in the interests of full disclosure, he is also my first cousin!]. Dr. Greenstein has done a study looking at the continuity of language and imagery Psalms 111 and 112, and compared that with the imagery and language in the Eshet Chayil poem.³⁸ He follows linguistic and structural evidence to support his thesis is that Psalms 111 and 112 are progressive in their concept, a progression that culminates in the Eshet Chayil poem in Proverbs.

According to Greenstein, the Eshet Chayil poem can be read as the culmination of imagery that begins with Divine Attributes enumerated in Psalm 111, moves on to the attributes of the Righteous Man listed in Psalm 112, and culminates in equating the qualities of the Eshet Chayil with those of both God and of righteous males.

Structurally, the three texts have a major element in common: the two psalms, like the Eshet Chayil poem, are alphabetic acrostics, with successive verse segments beginning with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet in sequence. Aside from being a mnemonic device to help in remembering each text, an alphabetic acrostic suggests structurally the concept that it contains all there is to say on its theme, from Aleph to Tav, from A to Z. Therefore, the themes of the two psalms and the poem from proverbs can be taken as the last word on their subjects.

First, Psalm 111 describes the characteristics of a God who is Righteous, Generous, Compassionate, Courageous, and Large of Spirit. Then, Psalm 112 describes the characteristics of a Man who fears God—these are amazingly similar to the qualities describing the Divine in the previous psalm: righteousness, generosity, compassion, courage, largeness of spirit. Proverbs 31, the Eshet Chayil poem, proves that women, too, can be equal to men in their "God-like-ness."

The Eshet Chayil, like God in Psalm 111 and like the Righteous Man in Psalm 112, exhibits these same attributes of righteousness, generosity, compassion, courage, and largeness of spirit. Like God and the Righteous Man, the Eshet Chayil gives food to those who are worthy, is generous with her resources, and conducts her affairs with integrity.

From Aleph to Tav, then, within the structure of alphabetic acrostic, each of these texts describes completely what the respective ideals are of benevolent divinity, righteous manhood, and worthy womanhood—and reading the three texts together suggests that similar qualities are required of all three.

Greenstein concludes with a final question: In what way is the Woman of Valor distinguished from many other women? How has she exceeded them? Proverbs 31:29 reveals that a righteous woman can indeed attain the status accorded the righteous man in Psalm 112, becoming a walking image of God in this world. The following verse, Proverbs 31:30, confirms this reading, showing that the deeds of the Woman of Valor are praised, just as her husband has been honored in Psalm 112:9, and just as God is praised in Psalm 111 verses 1 and 10.

For Greenstein, these biblical texts read together teach a radical lesson.

The radical lesson of Psalms 111 and 112 is that it is possible to attain a God-like state by assuming the attributes observed in God's actions: Righteousness, Generosity, Compassion, Courage, and Largeness of Spirit. The radical teaching of Eshet Chayil insists on women's spiritual equality and on the potential for women to attain a God-like state through actions taken with these same qualities of righteousness, generosity, compassion, courage, and largeness of spirit.³⁹

For me, this reading is a powerful statement of the essence of gender equality, and even more, because the biblical division of labor along gendered lines described in the Eshet Chayil poem does not seem to interfere with a person's ability to achieve the highest levels of spiritual equality, not only between women and men, but even between humanity and the Divine.

Some rabbinic sources appear to have anticipated Greenstein's insight that an Eshet Chayil is capable of great spiritual attainment, equal to or surpassing that of men. The feminist scholar Shulamit Valler sought to identify who the Eshet Chayil is in rabbinic literature.⁴⁰ In general, she found that the rabbis identify an "ideal woman" based on two crucial elements. The first is that the center of her life is her home, and that she makes no use of her skills for the benefit of her community or nation.⁴¹ The second is that her behavior is motivated by her desire to gain the praise of her husband.

Midrash Mishle on Proverbs 31:10 equates the Eshet Chayil of Proverbs with both Noah's wife and with Sarah, Abraham's wife. The midrash goes on to equate Abraham and Sarah, and Noah and his wife, as equals in deeds, charity and benevolence, and so share equally in the rewards of divine blessing.⁴² Valler believes that "the placing of Sarah above Abraham [by the Rabbis] shows the liberality of those sages, who allowed themselves to express a concept different than the commonly held one in the matter of women's duties and attributes."⁴³

Valler notes that "all three midrashic anthologies on Eshet Hayil connect the verse 'her husband puts his confidence in her,' in Proverbs 31:11, ...to Sarai and Abram at the gates of Egypt, and Abram's request of his wife to pass herself off as his sister at the Pharaoh's house [Gen 12:10-20]. ... The point common to all three midrashic sources is that the man depends on his wife and benefits from her tribulations."⁴⁴

Valler finds that "The idea of Sarah being equal with Abraham or even surpassing him in her good qualities and deeds has a solid foundation in the sages' world. It therefore seems possible to find sages who were not fixated on conventional gender traits and characteristics. Those sages were able to ascribe qualities usually considered male, and, furthermore, qualities that set men and women apart, to certain female figures. Those sages did not hesitate to raise the spiritual status of a certain female figure above that of the male to whom she is compared. ..."⁴⁵

Valler continues her investigation, and finds that "the representation of these women as models of the Eshet Hayil, 'virtuous woman,' illustrates that there were sages who possessed liberal concepts of woman and womanhood, even though theirs might have been minority opinions.⁴⁶ She concludes that "according to the midrashic interpretation the 'wise woman' is a brave, forceful and authoritative female figure....the woman is presented as astonishingly intelligent, wise and brave..."⁴⁷ Valler finds that these rabbinic sources, even though they represent a minority interpretation, offer a surprisingly wide-ranging and liberal view of the qualities that make for an Eshet Chayil.⁴⁸

All in all, Valler finds two major models among the midrashic interpretations of the Eshet Chayil poem. "The first concept is that of the ideal woman as a spiritual leader who is close to God and carries out [God's] will; the second describes her as a political leader and diplomat. Both concepts place the ideal woman far beyond the narrow circle of her home and family. Both praise her activities within the wider circles of society, community and nation. Both expand the image of Eshet Hayil obtainable in the biblical passage."⁴⁹

The lesson to be learned from Valler's study of rabbinic literature on the Eshet Chayil is that each generation is commanded to do its own midrash, ask its own questions, interpret the biblical text within our own social and cultural contexts. Even the ancient sages thought that the Eshet Chayil poem needed interpretation and expansion—this is not an enterprise unique to the Twenty-First Century. We here today are commanded to undertake this sacred task of midrashic interpretation just as the rabbis did, to ask the question, "What does the Eshet Chayil, the Woman of Valor, the ideal woman, mean today to me, to my family, to my community?" And we are obligated to come up with our own answers.

To help begin this process, this morning we have looked at the Eshet Chayil poem from a variety of different perspectives:

• We have seen the Eshet Chayil in her own cultural context, contrasted with the ancient Near Eastern ideal woman represented by the Goddess Inanna;
• we have surveyed some of the gender and other issues raised by contemporary readers today;
• we have looked at minority rabbinic views that encourage strong female role models and spirituality;
• we have looked at intertexts that begin to suggest ways of reading and re-reading the Eshet Chayil poem so that both men and women can be praised for their work on behalf of the family and community; and
• we have begun to understand the need for each generation to create its own midrash, to interpret the text in ways that are meaningful to us, here and now, in our own cultural context.

I would like to conclude with a contemporary midrash on the Eshet Chayil, composed by the Feminist poet Tamara Cohen. This is called, "A Woman of Valor Poem:"⁵⁰

Yes, let her work praise her at the gates. Let us find ways to reclaim Eshet Chayil as something that modern feminists want to be, want to emulate.

• Because women should get accolades for all the things we do.
• Because the Eshet Chayil represents the contemporary woman who is competent in so many areas and because there is much of her in each of us.
• Because an Eshet Chayil is a woman of strength and woman of strength is not hard to find.
• Because there are hundreds of us sitting right here in this room.
• Because these are women that we value, women who are accomplished.
• And because we each deserve a song.